cornerstone, again.

I am taking the last bit of time that I have to myself before leaving for Cornerstone Fest in the morning. I am looking forward to the trip. Although I will admit that I have had moments of wondering why I ever brought this upon myself one more time. I guess that getting over Cornerstone is one of those things I will just never learn. Cornerstone always brings up a lot of memories; I’ve done a whole lot of growing up there. This will be my eighth Cornerstone, I’ve made the trip all but one year since I was 15 years old. My inaugural year was certainly the most memorable. Shooting stars, Over the Rhine, chicken fighting in the lake, mud people, mosh pits, heartbreak. Most of the other years are a blur of dusty roads, sweat, sleeping out under stars, and of the reminder that sometimes people that love Jesus the most are the least likely to look like I would imagine them to.

And sometimes I realized that the ones I assumed did were only putting on a show.

This is the 25^th Cornerstone Festival and its funny that going there always feels a little bit like going home. I do not think it is the hardcore bands playing on generator stages or the porta-johns or even finding old and new friends in the merch tents. I think that it has much more to do with the sky I look up and see at nite, with the guarantee I will see stars flying from one end to the other. I think it has to do with going to see Over the Rhine play at midnite, falling asleep to the melodies and waking to the audience clapping, over and again. And smiling when Karen and Linford always come back and play even after saying goodnite. I feel at home with the familiar Cornerstone smells of straw and sweat and with the feeling that I am getting older and that some things stay the same.

This is the third year that I have taken high schoolers to Cornerstone. I smile because many of them are coming back after that first year, just like I had. I worry because some of the girls seem so young and then I realize they are older, and probably wiser, than I was that first year. I hope that these kids keep coming back, year after year, and find a home for this one week of the year and that they see God in the sky and in the people crowded onto that ground.

trees with roots

I planted a tree. I literally sunk some roots into the ground. I am planning on giving it a few years to grow and cannot wait for it to bear fruit. Cherries.

Had I not won this tree, I would not have planted it. My chances were slim and I won.

It felt good to plant a tree. A kid from the neighborhood was over and he helped me plant the tree. He took over digging the hole. I told him he was great at digging and he told me it was because he buries a lot of cats in his yard for his mom and his aunt.

This planting could be symbolic. These roots finding their home in West side soil.

I may have planted the tree a little too close to the house and to another tree in the yard but this was the best place I could put it for now. I may still need to transplant it someday. But for now this is a good place for it to grow.

sabbath and schedule

I had one of the best sabbath days of my life yesterday. it was actually on a Sunday and i actually did not do any work.
i went to church. after getting home from church, i had lunch. after lunch i hopped on my bike and found two of my dear friends sitting in the grass of rosa park's circle. i joined them. i scanned a newspaper. i read my book. i fell asleep. i conversed. i got an iced soy latte.
hours later dana and i left, me on my bike and her in her car. i told her it was a race back to her house. and i won. we walked to the store and got chips and salsa and fruit and olives and went to john ball park and sat by the pond and had a picnic.

i do not remember the last time i spent that many hours sitting in grass and i did all day and i loved it.

in conversation dana and i realized we were struggling with lots of the same questions about life and purpose and next steps. we decided to start the morning Bible study we have been saying we were going to do for a long time. this led us to my roof, to sit down and schedule.
730 am will see us either walking around the city or discussing Henri Nouwen's book, Spiritual Direction, over coffee. wednesday afternoons we will work on art projects. i am getting back in the habit of writing down a schedule for my often unstructured days.

we started today and i feel good. we had a long walk this morning and when i got home i knew exactly what to do because i had written it down the nite before. i do not feel like i have wasted my day. i do not feel the anxiety i was growing so accustomed to carrying around with me.

i hope that today is the first day of this pattern for my summer weeks. true rest one day. and schedules the rest.